FMA Drabbles II: Excessive Oddity
by crazykitsune17
Summary: Fifty more drabbles of random, obscure and sometimes common pairings! Includes both yaoi, het and nonpairing drabbles, so there's something for everyone. Drabbles 18 of 50 uploaded. Please review!
1. Havoc x Fuery: Working

A/N: FINALLY! The next set of drabbles. So sorry for the wait! That's why I've posted 3 drabbles, to make up for my non-update-y-ness. Please forgive me, I've been really busy (albeit really lazy T.T). Enjoy the HavocFuery-ness! n.n

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**1. Havoc x Fuery – Working

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**

Second Lieutenant Havoc was "working". It was the same kind of "working" that Colonel Mustang did: highly productive "work" that gained much approval from the higher-ups. He had a pen in his hand and a piece of paper on his desk and a cigarette in his mouth, and the pen was moving up and down on the piece of paper, creating an inky blue scribble. If Havoc looked at the messy scribble long enough, it sort of looked like a giraffe.

Havoc smiled to himself. "Hmm, giraffe…" He ceased moving his pen up and down to take a drink out of his coffee mug. The cigarette never left his mouth; the mix of smoke and caffeine felt bitterly pleasing sliding down his throat. He set the coffee mug down and continued "working".

Kain Fuery approached him an hour later. He had been "working" too, "working" very hard on something very important. He had a blush on his face.

Havoc stopped "working" as well (he had moved on to a new piece of paper since his last one ripped from running his pen up and down it too many times) and looked up, grinning. "Hey there, Fuery," he greeted, receiving a letter slammed facedown on his desk in reply.

Briefly surprised, Havoc picked it up and unfolded it, finding the fruits of Fuery's labor hidden inside: a lengthy, poetic profession of love in neat script writing. Havoc's eyes scanned it over, somehow able to pick up the main point in between the superfluous and pointless words and phrases.

After a minute, Havoc lowered the paper and stared up at Fuery, his eyes wide. "Wow, Fuery…" he breathed. "So _this_ is what you've been doing all morning?"

Fuery nodded.

In an instant, Fuery found himself captured in Havoc's hug, their lips so close they could kiss (Fuery almost squeaked at the thought), but at that second, Colonel Mustang kicked open his own office door and shouted, "I thought I told you guys to at least make it look like you're working! If I catch you out of your seats again, I'll—"

"But sir," said Havoc, quickly fabricating a lie, "we _are_ working. See, this is part of office bonding." He hugged Fuery again. "And if people within an office bond together, the more productive they'll be. Ya know, you and Hawkeye should try it sometime. Not only is it fun, but it's industrious—"

"Lieutenant Havoc."

"Yes sir?"

"Get back to work."

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A/N: Hah. I love this one. n.n

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	2. Roy & Riza: Blueberry Muffins

A/N: With my AIM screen name of "RoychansMuffin" and my Unofficial State Alchemist title "The Muffin Alchemist", I bring to you… a muffin drabble. MUFFINS ROCK! This is _implied_ Roy x Riza… not really, but it kinda is… at least in my world. Eh. Whatever! Review!

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**2. Roy & Riza - Blueberry Muffins

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It had been a long day for Roy Mustang. First, he got up early wash his uniform that he had forgotten to clean the night before. Then he went to work and was hassled endlessly by Ed until he finally sent the boy off on a pointless mission to clean the restrooms. After that, Maes Hughes demanded Roy's apt attention while he showed the colonel photo after photo of his "adorable bundle of cuteness". And at lunch, the mess hall ran out of muffins (so he had a hell of a time trying to steal one from Ed… he failed at that one), and after that they ran out of peanut butter.

In the afternoon, Roy had to play counselor to Lieutenant Havoc while he had a nervous breakdown from lack of cigarettes. Then Hughes came in to show the same pictures to Roy again. Two hours later, Ed busted a giant hole in the wall (so Roy told him to clean the bathrooms again as punishment) and Armstrong made an even bigger hole after trying to prove that "giant hole-in-the-wall-making skills" were passed down the Armstrong line for generations. Roy was running out of bathrooms for his subordinates to clean, so instead, he told Armstrong to buy Havoc some cigarettes before the second lieutenant started crying.

At a quarter to four, his desk drawer got jammed, and he spent the better part of an hour trying to pull it open, and when it finally did shoot open, it socked him hard in the stomach and threw him against the wall. And once he got up from his position of pain, he found that the pen he wanted in there was out of ink. His paperwork_ still_ wasn't done yet, so when Ed "accidentally" broke the desk lamp in Roy's office, the colonel told him to do his paperwork; and at this demand, Ed had a temper tantrum and broke even more of Roy's office's possessions.

Roy's back and his feet and his brain were all aching when he dragged himself to Riza Hawkeye's house after work. Luckily for him, Hawkeye knew _exactly_ how to make the tired taisa feel better:

She made him blueberry muffins.

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	3. Roy x Ed: Fix Him

A/N: I love this one. It makes me giggle every time I think about it… Please review!

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**3. Roy x Ed – Fix Him

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Winry stepped into the colonel's office, a blank, confused look on her face as she stepped tentatively in. The colonel himself had called her at her home in Rizenbul, though why he would, she had no idea. Colonel Mustang didn't have automail; why would he call her?

_Unless something happened to Ed, and for some reason, he can't call me himself…_ Winry began to fret and fidget on her feet, but her fears were soon assuaged when she saw Ed sitting grumpily in a chair next to Mustang's desk, his arms (the automail one completely intact and looking good) crossed and his lips frowning. _Then why am I here…?_

"Ah, Miss Rockbell, you're here," said Mustang grandly, getting up from his chair and ushering the girl over to where Ed was sitting. "Good."

"Uh, sir? What am I here for?"

Mustang's face clouded over - his eyebrows knitted – and he pointed roughly at Ed, his finger almost jabbing him in the temples. "Fix him," he demanded. "He squeaks when he's in bed."

Winry's eyes snapped open wider in surprise. _Does he mean what I think he means…? _Ed reacted as well, jumping out of his seat and screaming in the colonel's face, "That's not my automail, you dumbass!"

At this remark, it was Mustang's turn to look surprised. He blinked a couple times, then turned to Winry. "Oh," he said. "Then in that case, Miss Rockbell… I guess you don't need to fix him…"

Winry ran out of the room as quick as she could.

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	4. Roy x Desk Phone: Reconciliation

A/N: Omg, I am back with these little drabble thingies. Thanks to Fading wind for telling me to keep posting my drabbles (I was kinda wondering if the drabble phase here was over or not…). For all you fans still out there, I'll keep posting these until I get to 50. Which means I have to write more. YAY! All right, so this one is kind of a weird side-story to my REALLY OLD drabbles from the first set, those "Tales From a Desk Phone" drabbles? Remember those? Yeah. Indulge in the weirdness. Please review.

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**6. Roy x Desk Phone – Reconciliation

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"I know it seems like I've been a bit hard on you," Mustang said, pacing up and down in his office. He was speaking lowly, even though the door was tightly and securely locked (_Though nothing FullMetal couldn't break down if he wanted to…_ the colonel thought ruefully, but he dismissed the thought; Ed was supposed to be off on a mission, anyway.), taking great caution not to be overheard by anybody but the person he was speaking to.

Peter the desk phone sat atop Roy's mahogany desk, standing stoically upon his pedestal-like cradle. A frown was etched into his features: a long mar on its lips from years of abuse and severe hatred from its master…

Roy sighed. He knew the phone's feelings for him were less than warm and cuddly. And he couldn't blame it – if he were the desk phone, he'd hate himself too. But there was always the chance… always the chance that one could reconcile things… Maybe his relationship with Peter the desk phone could be saved after all…

"Peter, look, I'm sor—"

"Shut up, you bastard, I don't want to hear it!" cried Peter, his voice coated with ice and malice. "Do you know what you've done to me? _Do you know what you've done_?"

Roy lowered his head. "I'm sorry…" Flashes of memory from the Ishbal Rebellion bubbled up from the catacombs of his brain, and he grit his teeth and cringed. _You thought those days were over… those days of unjust murder and the slaughter of innocent people… but no… they return again… You're doing the exact same thing you were before… You were tormenting, persecuting… And you're doing it to the desk phone…_

For a moment, Peter could feel radiated waves of remorse and sadness emanating from the colonel. A strange twinge in the center of its gut rumbled, resembling something like pity_. No! Master Mustang is evil! He's playing a trick on you! He wants you to feel sorry for him! Do not believe him! Resist! Resist!_

But no matter how hard Peter struggled and screamed against it, Roy had taken the phone off the hook and licked it, his warm tongue gently caressing its spine in a way that made the desk phone shudder in both disgust and pleasure…

And then Roy punched in Ed's number…

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-crazykitsune17 


	5. Ed x Scieszka: Misunderstanding

A/N: Here you go, Wing Omega! The Ed x Scieszka I had locked up in storage for a long time. Not my greatest work, but it's slightly amusing, so whatever. I have a Roy x Scieszka one coming up next, so be prepared! O.O Thank you to all of those who reviewed the last chapter. I was seriously expecting only one or two reviews… Gah, I'm so happy to hear from you guys, and I apologize for disappearing… o.o I love you guys!

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**5. Ed x Scieszka – Misunderstanding

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A sniveling Scieszka walked into Ed's dorm room.

Edward Elric jumped up from his bed, accidentally kicking his brother who was reading on the floor. "Sceiszka! What's the matter?"

"I should be asking you that question!" Sceiszka sniffed, tears running down her cheeks. Ed gave her a blank look.

"What?"

"Why do you hate me?"

"_What?"_ Ed rushed over to Sceiszka, almost knocking over the books she seemed to always have glued to her arms. Quickly, he wrapped his arm around her and gave her a quick, impulsive kiss on the cheek. Scieszka's face grew slightly hot. "I don't hate you!"

"Th-that's not what the colonel said!"

Ed face-faulted. He made a mental note to get FullMet-evil on Mustang's ass the next time he saw him. "What the hell did that bastard say?" Al was curious now; he eavesdropped on Ed and Scieszka's conversation.

"He said you don't care about me."

Ed felt like ripping the colonel's face off. _He's twisting the people around! It's _him _I don't care about, not Sceiszka_! "Scieszka, you mean the world to me! Mustang's just trying to make himself feel better. He's sore because I broke up our sad, pathetic little excuse for a relationship…"

"You and Colonel Mustang broke up?" This was news to Al…

"Yeah." Ed brushed off the question offhandedly and continued to clutch Sceiszka around the shoulders. "What I said was 'I love Scieszka'!"

Sceiszka looked just as confused as both Ed and Al. Dropping her books onto a nearby desk, she asked, "How do you mix that up?"

Ed ran his fingers through his hair. "Colonel Mustang can mix anything up because that's just the kind of asshole he is."

Sceiszka smiled weakly. "Is this true Ed? Do you really love me?"

Before Ed could answer with "yes", Al stood up and shouted, _"When were you and Colonel Mustang going out in the first place?"

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A/N: Ha ha. Wow. Yeah. I love Roy x Ed too much…

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-crazykitsune17 


	6. Roy x Scieszka: Double Loss

A/N: Next in the line of Scieszka drabbles… enjoy! Pre-episode-25 with plot change. Huzzah. Please review!

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**6. Roy x Sceiszka – Double Loss

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**

He didn't fire her in time.

Why take her? Why take Sceiszka? Hughes I can see, but… Scieszka?

The double loss is way too much for me. I sink down in a puddle of mud in the rain. Who cares if my uniform gets dirty? Lieutenant Hawkeye will wash it for me.

I wasn't the only one upset over the loss of two of our favorite military personnel. FullMetal was too, of course, but he never had the sort of relationship that I had with both of them. He may have known Scieszka longer, like I have known Lieutenant… _Brigadier General_ Hughes longer than he has… but…

He never felt the way for her the way I did.

No tears have fallen. Not yet. Why bother with crying? It doesn't do any good. That's one thing I've learned from FullMetal – if you can consider that "knowledge". I've always known that shedding tears does absolutely nothing.

I touch Scieszka's headstone; it's cold and wet. I bite my lip. Shake my head. I half expect to see your hand come up out of the grave. Grab me, maybe…

Your small hands, pale, drained with death.

Quickly, I stand up and walk away from your grave.

I don't see your corpse running after me in your burial gown.

I reach into my pocket and pull the only thing I have to remember you by: your glasses. I don't know why I took them. What am I going to do with a pair of spectacles? My eyesight is perfect.

Maybe I'll use them every time I need to look at Ed.

I smile at my own immaturity and rub the lenses fondly.

The rain has let up and leaves behinda beautiful sun-smeared sky.

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-crazykitsune17- 


	7. Rizacentric: Should Have Known

A/N: Yes, this is a short one, but sometimes less is more. I really like this one. n.n Please review!

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**7. Riza-centric: Should Have Known

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I should have known it would never last. All those years I spent, wishing and hoping and sometimes even kneeling at the edge of my bed and praying (or begging, whichever word you prefer)… all for naught.

I don't know what I was expecting. After all, the colonel had a reputation of being quite a heartbreaker back in the day… And old habits die hard, isn't that right? It surely is. He now has my heart to add to his list of shattered relationships.

I suppose I should have known why the colonel wasn't having any success in stabilizing a relationship. I should have known why Hughes's comments on Roy's lack of a wife irked him so much. I should have known that Roy was in love with Ed all this time.

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-crazykitsune17- 


	8. Scieszka x Al: There Are Other Things

A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to update. Laziness + Geometry homework + myspace Big waste of time. o.o Please enjoy!

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**8. Scieszka x Al – There Are Other Things I Love Besides Books

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"Thanks for carrying my books for me," said Scieszka brightly to Al as he walked her home.

"No problem," said Al, stopping at Scieszka's door and opening up his chest plate. Dozens of books were stacked up inside.

"I really hope this isn't embarrassing or degrading for you," Scieszka apologized worriedly, her large, dramatic hazel eyes widening. "I mean, using you like some kind of suitcase or something… because I'm really sorry if it is! And also, um… thanks for paying for all of those new encyclopedia volumes and mystery novels…" Scieszka scratched at her mousy brown hair nervously.

"No, really, it's not a problem." Al closed his chest plate and put a metal hand on the small of Scieszka's back. "I know how much you like books, Scieszka. Don't worry about it."

Al had taken her into town to the large bookstore while Ed had been off doing something for the military. "You'll be okay on your own, Al?" he had asked before leaving, and Al had nodded, knowing exactly what to do in lieu of Ed's absence; for a long time – ever since they had met, actually – Al had been wanting to go out with Scieszka, the cute girl who used to work at the Central Library.

At the bookstore, Scieszka, overexcited as expected, had bounded around from shelf to shelf, gasping and gazing at the hundreds of neatly-bound tomes of nonfiction and novels, encyclopedias and comic books. She had had a hard time containing herself.

Finally, Scieszka had decided on about three dozen different books to buy, and Al had generously paid the entire expense. Like Ed, he had a costly habit of buying whatever his lady friend desired.

Scieszka blushed at Al's kindness and gave him her biggest, cutest smile. The dimples in her cheeks stood out attractively, and the face of Al's armor seemed to grin as well. _She's such a great girl…_

"Thanks again, Al," Scieszka said, taking a stack of books from Al's chest plate and continuing to smile lovingly. "I had a great time with you tonight."

"Me too, Scieszka," said Al. "I, um… was also hoping we would be able to do this again soon… I… I know a good bookstore in my own hometown, Rizembul…"

Scieszka's smile mellowed slightly as she looked into Al's kind eyes and replied, "Al, there are other things I love besides books. Why don't we just go out for a walk in the park? You know, so I can spend time with _you_. Because I really like you, Al. Really, I do!"

Al exclaimed excitedly and gave Scieszka a hug. "I'm so glad!" he said. "I like you too, Scieszka!"

"Then it's a date?"

"Sure is!"

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A/N: Ha ha, a bit corny, but… I think it's cute that Scieszka has other interests – like that sexy hunk a' junk, Al-chan – besides books. Lz. ;) Please review.

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	9. Roy x Desk Phone: Caught in the Act

A/N: Whoops, sorry guys about the screw-up last chapter. Turns out I had already posted that last drabble in my old set. MY BAD! Me dumb. :( Sorry! Here's a new drabble for your reading pleasure. :bows repeatedly: Sorry! Oh, and by the way, this story takes place before the original "Tales From a Desk Phone" series… obviously. XDXDXD Please enjoy and review!

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**9. Roy & Desk Phone – Caught in the Act

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Roy and Peter the desk phone were hunched over together, both looking at a magazine before quitting time. The clock on the wall read quarter to six, and the sky outside was growing dark: the perfect time to look and giggle at porno.

"Oh, yeah, that's a nice one, isn't it?" Peter whispered huskily, indicating the women bent over on the page. Roy raised his eyebrows and whistled approvingly; he had to admit, his desk phone had great taste in women – almost as great as his own taste!

Roy grinned salaciously as he turned the page. He was salivating almost as much as his excited groin was throbbing. The ladies' breasts and hips were getting bigger, their waists (and brains) getting smaller – so odd-looking that only one completely high off his own arousal would be able to call them beautiful. To anyone else, the pornographic models would just look grotesquely disproportionate.

Still grinning, Roy slyly slid open his desk drawer and pulled out a stretchy new condom. Wiggling his eyebrow at the desk phone, he slowly pulled it out of its package and slipped it on over the receiver. Peter writhed and shuddered at the awkward feeling of rubber over skin…

Roy began to take it into his mouth…

And the door burst open. Riza Hawkeye stood in the middle of the frame, eyes wide, face nothing but the pure epitome of shock and disconcertion.

She slowly began to walk out, just as Roy was pulling the desk phone's receiver away from his open mouth.

Tongue feeling dry and prickling from the rubber once on it, Roy mumbled, mouth still wide open: "Shit…"

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	10. Lust x Winry: Understand

A/N: Sorry about the non-updatey-ness… / Baaaad month for me. Problems. Meh. You know how it is, angsty teens of the world. :nods:

**10. Lust x Winry – Understand

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It's amazing who you'll run into on the streets in Central.

You might run into a military officer – the most likely person you'll bump into. You might run into a hobo. You may even run into a homunculi…

Now don't ask me what a homunculi is, I don't know. I tried asking Ed once, but he just gave me this really dull explanation about stuff I didn't understand or care about. Yawn. His alchemy talk is so boring, I don't see why he doesn't take up a useful hobby like mechanics. Then maybe he could fix his own arm the next time it breaks…

But the other day, I did run into one of these "homunculus" things. She was very beautiful – tall, thin, well-endowed, dark hair and most gorgeous dress I had ever seen. Is it wrong of me to say I fell in love with her?

No, not love… More like "fascination". You know, the same kind of fascination I hold for all things mechanical. That, I suppose, has to be some kind of love. Unhealthy? Maybe. Obsessive? Sure. Not like I care. All I know is that I really liked the homunculus woman.

Of course, at the time I ran into her, I didn't know she was a homunculus. It took her about three minutes for her to tell me what she was. I only blinked and nodded; remember, I don't know what homunculi are. I don't care, either. If she was still that intriguingly beautiful and she were a troll, I wouldn't care. I'd love – er, be fascinated with – her no matter what.

So we got to talking. Small talk, mostly. Random jibber-jabber about things like where I lived, what I liked to do, if I had a boyfriend or not. I said no. Neither did she. I was surprised, she looked like the sort of woman who would have seven or eight guys hanging onto her legs at any given moment.

Then again, maybe she didn't swing that way… I know I didn't. I'll never understand men, so I just choose to ignore them. Same way I ignore Ed and his alchemy talk – two things I don't understand rolled into one: Men and alchemy.

But these homunculus people I think I can understand. They're just like us – smart, funny, attractive – and this one was a woman. I think I'll grow to understand her quite a bit…

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--crazykitsune17--

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A/N: Hahaha, yay! I think I really like Winry as a lesbian… 


	11. Brosh x Armstrong: Perfect Fantasy

A/N: A friend of mine once informed that this pairing is actually quite popular in Japan, so let's see if I can popularize it here! XD Please review!

b12. Brosh x Armstrong – Perfect Fantasy/b

Denny Brosh and Alex Armstrong were having dinner. Not a date, not a business meal, just dinner. Denny was not a Sergeant in the military. Alex was not a State Alchemist. They were just two guys in nice casual suits, eating out at a ritzy place they could only afford if they went Dutch.

It didn't help their expenses any that Alex consumed enough food for two or three average-sized people. Denny was amazed at how much the guy could eat. He made a mental note to enlist Lieutenant Ross's help in baking half a million Christmas cookies for Armstrong…

"Denny…" Armstrong's low, deep voice rumbled.

Brosh looked up from his napkin and stared into Alex's captivating eyes. Yes, he did feel slightly intimidated by the bigger man in front of him, but it was a good kind of intimidation – like the presence of a young boy standing in front of his favorite, seven-foot-tall sports star. Brosh admired Armstrong.

"Yeah?"

"We should be finishing up. We have to watch over the Elric brothers again tonight."

Denny sighed as his fantasy melted away from him. The fancy, expensive restaurant dissolved into the cafeteria at Central; the plush, fine chairs turned into steel benches, and the food turned to bland, discolored slop. The suits disappeared, and they were both dressed in military uniforms. Armstrong had no soft gaze of love in his eyes as he stood up and beckoned Brosh to follow him.

Sergeant Brosh nodded and followed, stepping in time with Major Armstrong, off to duty that had once more interrupted a perfect fantasy. 


	12. Havoc x Fuery: Smoking

A/N: Poor Fuery in here… he has no idea how he's ruining his life… Bad Fuery! Bad Fuery:raises hand:lowers it: Aww, I can't smack Fuery… He's just too darn cute! n.n :hugs him: Please review!

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**12. Havoc x Fuery – Smoking

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**

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jean Havoc asked with concern.

An excited Kain Fuery nodded eagerly, his teeth grinning and eyes sparkling behind his spectacles. The brisk wind outside toyed with his short, choppy black hair, and Jean couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay," he said. "But I warn you, it's not as fun as I make it out to be—"

"Hurry up!" Fuery begged, yanking the pack of cigarettes out of Havoc's hands and pulling out a slender stick. "It's getting cold out here…"

Havoc flicked open his lighter and lit the end of Fuery's cigarette for him. Nervously, eyes on the flame, Fuery sucked in, then immediately started coughing.

"I told you it's not that great!" Havoc shouted, running over crunchy autumn leaves to pound Fuery on the back. "Feel better now?"

Eyes watering, Fuery tapped away the remaining ashes on the end of the cigarette and murmured, voice cracking, "Stop, just let me do it, okay?"

Havoc sighed and held up his hands, allowing his friend to destroy his health. _Stupid Fuery…_ he groaned to himself as he watched Kain grimace in disgust as he pulled in ash and God knows whatever other foul substances. On the third inhale, Havoc stepped in once again and impatiently pulled the cigarette from Fuery's mouth and crushed it with his foot.

"Come on, Kain, you don't have to smoke to be cool in my book." He brought his arm around the smaller man's shoulders and held him tight – a welcome gesture in the chilly fall temperature. "Besides, you don't do it right, anyway." Havoc smiled. Fuery joined him.

"I'm sorry. I just thought it would get you to like me—"

"I already _do_ like you, Kain!" Havoc cried, sloppily and roughly planting a kiss on Fuery's forehead. "Come on, do I have to prove it by giving you one on the lips?"

Fuery blushed sheepishly. "Well… why don't you?"

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A/N: AWWW YESS:drools: Havoc x Fuery is teh lurve!

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-crazykitsune17- 


	13. Scar x Ed: Candy

A/N: Zomg, Scar's a pervert. x.x Sorry for the delay! Please review! n.n

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**13. Scar x Ed – Candy

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**

"Sorry, Brother, I couldn't find any stores that were open," Al said, running up to his brother on a bench.

Ed was slumped over the bench, head rolling over the back, expression pained and suffering. He moaned and placed his head in his hands, just as his stomach growled. "I'm starving," he whined. "Isn't there any place that's open?"

"Brother, not many shops are open at four in the morning."

Ed sighed and leaned back in his seat, scooting over to let Al sit next to him. "This sucks. Mustang sends me out to the middle of nowhere and doesn't even bother to feed me. If I die of starvation, I hope he gets an assload of paperwork over my death…"

"Brother…"

A darkened shadow quickly approached them. Ed's head snapped around and glared down the alleyway toward the figure. Al watched too as the person – or thing – advanced further and further. It looked strikingly familiar…

A brown face… red eyes… white hair… and a candy bar. Scar, the Ishbalan, held out the candy for Ed and tossed it into his lap. The tiniest of smiles crossed his stoical features.

"Here," he said. "You look hungry."

Ed stared at the candy bar in amazement and suspicion. How good was some chocolate that came from a guy who wanted to kill you? It could be poisoned… Being blunt, he asked openly, "Is this poisoned?"

Scar chuckled. "No." He looked down and removed his sunglasses in one fluid, sweeping movement, placing them instead at the top of his head and mussing up his hair. He gave Ed a kindhearted smirk and phrased, "Can't I just do something nice for you now and then?"

Ed blinked. His hands moved, unfolding the wrapper.

"We'll meet again, FullMetal. Maybe next time I'll do something bigger for you…"

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--crazykitsune17-- 


	14. Roy x Ed: Short

A/N: Hahaha, I like this one… It's so mean… XD Please review!

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**14. Roy x Ed – Short

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**

"Hey, Ed, can you get that on the top shelf for me?" Roy asked, sitting back lazily in his desk as he twirled a pencil between his fingers. Ed nodded eagerly and pranced off to the bookshelf on the other side of the room, standing on his tiptoes and reaching as far as his arms would allow.

Roy watched in amusement as Ed jumped and reached, his hands grasping for the wallet lying at the very top of the gigantic bookshelf. He leaned back in his chair and chewed on the pencil he was twirling, trying very hard to keep from laughing. Ed was now making little frustrated noises as he tried to grab the wallet, and it was almost too cute for Roy to bear.

Finally, after about two minutes of fruitless struggle, Ed turned back to Roy, a pained look on his face, and said "Roy, I can't reach it."

Roy smirked. "And why not, Edward?"

Ed's face fell into clouded embarrassment. Roy was playing his sick games again… _What a sadist…_ Ed grumbled to himself. _He's just doing this to boost his own ego… Bastard… _He didn't answer.

"I said why can't you reach my wallet, FullMetal," Roy said sternly, leaning forward on his desk and staring into Ed with a strict, almost evil sort of glint in his nigrescent eyes. "Answer me why. That's an order."

Ed's nails dug into his palms, and his body started quaking from shame and from the pure intensity of Roy's glaring charcoal eyes. His teeth ground against his bottom lip, and sweat ran down his temples.

"I'm waiting for your explanation, Ed."

Ed brought his quivering fists up and gave Roy two middle fingers before answer, "Because I'm too short."

Roy grinned. He pounded the desk and snorted with laughter. "Hah! That's what I wanted to hear!" he shouted, standing up and grabbing his wallet himself. "Okay, let's go get some ice cream now."

Ed glared at his superior. "I hate you," he said.

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-crazykitsune17-


	15. Havoc x Ed: Pants

A/N: Ahh, okay, so I haven't been able to get on here for like… 3 days… Grr. I was angry. As if I didn't already have enough to be angry about… :slow simmering: All right. So. New drabble! w00t! Come on, fangirls, you know you've all had this dream before… :D Please review!

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**15. Havoc x Ed – Pants

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**

There was a party last night, and I don't know how it happened, but somehow I wound up in the Fuhrer's office wearing – or trying to wear – really tiny pants and talking in my sleep about cranberries and marmalade.

No, I wasn't fired. But I was denied access to the cafeteria for three weeks.

How the hell am I supposed to get my lunch of day-old bread and leftover cockroaches cleverly disguised as chocolates?

I have this note in the front pocket of my jacket, and I have no idea who it's from, but it says "Thanks for the pants and the good time. I love you."

Pretty sad. The one time I get a love note, and I don't even remember who it's from.

I _was_ wondering where my pants were, though… I miss them. The pants I'm wearing now are a bit tight… and short. I never knew my ankles were that knobby. I can't bend over in these stupid, tight pants that aren't mine…

"Jean? Why are you wearing FullMetal's pants?"

Colonel Mustang just walked by. So these are_ Ed's_… No wonder they don't fit…

Wait… wait… it's all coming back to me! The beer, the really awful corn chips, the fondling, the Fuhrer's office and the cranberries and marmalade… The Ed…

I'm so keeping his pants.

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-crazykitsune17- 


	16. Envy x Roy: Flames

A/N: Haha, I forget I made this one… Wow… Tee-hee! n.n please review!

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**16. Envy x Roy – Flames

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**

I like to pretend he's dancing for me when I see those flames come out of his fists. I see the way those burning red, orange, and gold embers writhe and sparkle, and in the midst of the flames, I can see his face. I can see his body. Like a mystical orb, I can see things that will never happen in real life. Things that _shouldn't_ happen in real life.

The flames are my escape from reality. Though I'm not entirely sure what my reality is, the crackling sparks and bursting flares are a welcome relief from whatever it is. It's as if imagination is locked within them – like a mirror to the soul.

Sounds kinda stupid when you really stop to nitpick apart your words. All of my thoughts sound stupid. I don't know why I think them, but they're just the words that come to my head. Like one of those dumb word-association games.

Flame – Lust.

Spark – Desire.

Mustang – Love.

Do I love Roy Mustang? Maybe. Only a psychologist can analyze the weird patterns of my brain and tell me. I know I can't.

But I do know that those flames he creates are infinitely beautiful.

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-crazykitsune17-


	17. Pictures

A/N: Non-pairing drabble… just Ed being angsty. You know you like it. ;) Please review!

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**17. Pictures

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**

I really wish we had taken more pictures.

Maybe the Lieutenant Colonel has a point. He takes so many pictures of his daughter, and now he'll never forget her. Not like he would anyway, but on the off chance he would ever have to have somebody transmute her soul to a piece of armor, at least he would have photographic proof that she was, in fact, once a flesh-and-blood human.

Al and I have nothing. He has nothing but my word and the word of a couple others to prove that Alphonse Elric was actually a living, breathing person.

What am I saying? I sound like Al died. I should really be ashamed of myself. It's not Al who's dead, it's me. I'm dead inside. I have a heart that is able to feel pain and guilt and sorrow. Since Al doesn't, he is almost lucky, though I know that is a terrible thing to think, because pain means you're human.

Al's human, but he cannot feel pain. In all honesty, what does that really make him? Even I don't know.

I wish we had taken more pictures. Both of the good times, and the bad. That way, I could prove to him that he did once feel pain… a long, long time ago. I could have shown him pictures of tears.

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-crazykitsune17- 


	18. Scar x Fuery: Another One

A/N: Another Scar drabble! This one was a request from animespiral. There's also some Roy x Fuery just for fun. n.n;

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**18. Scar x Fuery – Another One

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**

He knew that he worked in a dangerous place. He knew that not everybody was friends with the military – especially those who suffered fatalities in wars of the past. He knew that the State Alchemists were at the top of the hit list for angry Ishbalans bent on revenge.

He knew that somebody he loved had a possibility of dying.

He just never thought it would happen.

Long after even First Lieutenant Hawkeye left Colonel Mustang's grave, Kain Fuery still stood amidst the starry dusk background, staring down at the headstone, reading the same words over and over: _Colonel Roy Mustang. Killed in Action._

Without Fuery even noticing it, someone had sat down right next to the bundle of flowers that Hawkeye had left. He finally noticed when the wind made the person shiver and cough.

Fuery gasped, his shining red-tinted eyes wide behind his glasses. He jumped back. "Wh-who…?"

"I'm sorry." Half-hidden by shadows, the figure stood up, adjusted his own glasses and turned his back to the wind, standing nearly shoulder-to-shoulder with Fuery. "The consequences of my noble actions always seem to result in more hurt than good. Even if it is what Ishbala wants."

_Scar._

Somehow, Scar's hand snaked its way through Fuery's jacket sleeves and found his hand, cold and limp like a piece of wet spaghetti. He grasped the smaller man's hand tightly and gave it an assuring squeeze. "I may have ended a life, but that doesn't mean you can't move on and find another one."

Fuery's voice returned long enough for him to whisper through his choked breath: "Another what?"

Scar gave no answer. His hand interlocked with Fuery's spoke enough.

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-crazykitsune17- 


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